文書寫作 | 美國(guó)大學的why school 怎麽寫才能(néng)脫穎而出？

大家好，我是朗汀汀，一(yī)個(gè)有态度的留學過來人。

在申請美國(guó)留學或者英國(guó)留學時，都會(huì)要回答一(yī)個(gè)why school的内容。

什麽叫why school？顧名思義就(jiù)是要回答：為(wèi)什麽想申請這所大學？

提問方式大多(duō)都是why choose XXX, 也偶爾會(huì)問到(dào)when did you know XXX。萬變不離其宗，回答這類提問，最主要是為(wèi)了展現申請者對學校的了解程度，比如價值觀，教育理念，特色專業(yè)等等。

所以問題來了：如何簡單明了的回答why school的問題？

今天汀姐整理了幾個(gè)案例，一(yī)位申請波士頓大學的文書，兩位申請西(xī)北(běi)大學的文書以及一(yī)位申請紐約大學的文書，對于這四位學生(shēng)的文書，汀姐是如何修改的，感興趣的同學可以繼續往下(xià)閱讀(dú)。

第一(yī)部分：學校為(wèi)什麽要問 why school ？

第二部分：四位申請美國(guó)大學的案例分析

第三部分：如何簡明扼要回答 why school ？

01

學校為(wèi)什麽要問 why school ？

很多(duō)學生(shēng)們在看(kàn)到(dào)這個(gè)問題的時候往往會(huì)一(yī)臉懵逼，内心甚至還(hái)有點不能(néng)接受：我花了這麽多(duō)時間研究你們學校，準備申請材料，還(hái)交了申請費(fèi)，這還(hái)不足以表達我的誠意嗎(ma)？

很難說。學校為(wèi)什麽會(huì)問 why school這個(gè)問題？因為(wèi)每個(gè)學校都希望自(zì)己錄取的學生(shēng)是對學校滿意的，在學校期間是收獲滿滿的，離開(kāi)學校之後還(hái)能(néng)不斷向别人推薦的。

基于以上(shàng)這幾點，我可以展開(kāi)來多(duō)說一(yī)說。

衡量你對學校的興趣度

美國(guó)很多(duō)大學申請時都競争相(xiàng)當激烈，而學校在選擇那些優秀學生(shēng)時，考慮了很多(duō)因素。在GPA、标化成績，活動經曆、推薦信等水(shuǐ)平相(xiàng)差無幾的情況下(xià)，學校會(huì)更傾向于錄取對它有濃厚興趣的學生(shēng)。

匹配度

每所大學都希望錄取的學生(shēng)給到(dào)offer之後能(néng)确定入學，并且在入學期間每天都是收獲滿滿的，而不希望學生(shēng)入學後讀(dú)了一(yī)段時間就(jiù)離開(kāi)學校。畢竟學生(shēng)的畢業(yè)率和留存率也是後期招生(shēng)宣傳很重要的材料。

你要在why school中表現出：我通(tōng)過大量的research後發現，我要研究的program隻有你們學校能(néng)給到(dào)我想要的！這是一(yī)個(gè)考驗雙方匹配度的關鍵點。

所以，綜上(shàng)幾個(gè)方面，申請者如何回答 why school 這個(gè)問題非常關鍵！

02

具體案例分析

從(cóng)我的經驗來看(kàn)，很多(duō)學生(shēng)都輕視這個(gè)問題，覺得這沒什麽好說的，甚至不覺得需要花濃墨重彩去描述這個(gè)問題。我敢肯定，有大多(duō)數的學生(shēng)花在這個(gè)問題上(shàng)的時間都不及個(gè)人文書的十分之一(yī)。但事(shì)實上(shàng)，這個(gè)問題在文書中所占的比重并不低(dī)。

下(xià)面，我就(jiù)給大家舉幾個(gè)例子，逐個(gè)分析。

以下(xià)例文均為(wèi)學生(shēng)原版，未經改動

學生(shēng)1：申請波士頓大學

I want to study at a reputed university, with a stimulating environment as I have always lived in major cities where I can go to cafes, to hear music, to museums and sports events as part of my everyday life. Boston University has become one of the best in the US; it has top professors and is located in the middle of a historic city, and accessible to everything. It has a strong international relations program which would be perfect for me since I have attended a diverse international school. I noticed all these things when I visited. Given Boston University’s notable reputation and history, I would be excited by the opportunity to attend such a strong and knowledgeable institution . . .

學生(shēng)1最終拿到(dào)波士頓大學的錄取了麽？

這位學生(shēng)的回答幾乎可以用在每一(yī)所大型的、城(chéng)市(shì)地區的學校，中規中矩，沒有特别之處。如果我作為(wèi)招生(shēng)官：

我能(néng)相(xiàng)信她是用心選擇，認真思考才選擇我的學校的麽？

我能(néng)從(cóng)這個(gè)學生(shēng)的回答中看(kàn)出她其他申請材料中所沒有體現的東西(xī)麽？

回答是：不能(néng)。

Boston

說學生(shēng)1的回答中規中矩，還(hái)算(suàn)是褒義詞了，不客氣的說，學生(shēng)1在回答why school時用詞籠統概括，毫無新意：波士頓大學名聲顯赫，位于曆史悠久的城(chéng)市(shì)，從(cóng)音(yīn)樂會(huì)到(dào)圖書館，資源豐富，有國(guó)際關系專業(yè)。這些東西(xī)百度上(shàng)都有，大家都知道，招生(shēng)官也很清楚這些隻不過是尋常爾爾，并沒有提及波士頓大學的特别之處。

除此之外，學生(shēng)1在文中寫道：“來自(zì)一(yī)所學生(shēng)非常多(duō)樣的國(guó)際學校”，這方面的信息學校在通(tōng)用表格裡(lǐ)早就(jiù)知道了，不能(néng)顯示出更多(duō)關于自(zì)己的特色部分。

波士頓大學每年(nián)收到(dào)數萬份申請，而軟硬背景優秀的更是數不勝數，這樣一(yī)份普通(tōng)而平凡的回答，真的能(néng)拿到(dào)offer麽？

學生(shēng)2：申請西(xī)北(běi)大學

The most unique trait of Northwestern University is its focus on undergraduate research. I am very interested in biology and chemistry; I just love working in laboratories. In the “Gymnasium”, the Swiss pre-university school, we were often confronted with a problem that we had to solve in groups. Such problems could be as easy as distinguishing water from ethanol, or as complex as building a hydrogen fuel cell. To find a solution we were given time in our laboratory and could ask for practically anything we needed . . .

A further very good quality of Northwestern University is its rather high rank and great reputation. I seek a good education and definitely appreciate it, if the university I attend is renowned. If I went to a second-rank college I would be better off studying in Switzerland . . .

A last point is the location: It’s just great; right next to the lake, in the nice and cosy town of Evanston. You have the advantages of a small town, such as lots of greenery and a quiet environment, and yet Chicago is very close and accessible . . .

學生(shēng)3：申請西(xī)北(běi)大學

Because I intend to pursue a career in photojournalism, I see the Medill School of Journalism as the Holy Grail of education. Offering the impressive intellectual and technical resources of a prestigious research university, Northwestern would provide me the confidence of knowing that I would be getting the most forward-focused education in journalism.. . . The quarter system and Medill’s internship requirements create an ideal confluence for exactly that experience . . .

Northwestern has a gorgeous location. When I visited the campus, I was smitten with Evanston’s cozy feel. Although I initially pictured myself in the heart of a city, Evanston eclipsed this vision. The small town environment is comforting without being limiting, offering plenty of cafés, restaurants, and shops to explore . . . Meanwhile, Northwestern’s scenic lakeside location is the perfect retreat for studying or relaxing . . .

Brimming with enthusiasm, Northwestern has infectious school spirit. Because I assume leaving home after eighteen years will be difficult, I count on school pride to bring me a sense of community and belonging. From the famed painted rock to the fountain spewing purple water, the robust loyalty to the university captures my heart . . . In short, Northwestern is my dream school because it embodies everything I value: journalism, incomparable internship opportunities, dance, and an inspiring atmosphere . . .

學生(shēng)4：申請紐約大學

這篇文章，在Parke Muth的博客中也可以找到(dào)。

I’m done being a New Yorker born and raised in sheltered suburbia — I’m ready to get slapped in the face by the unforgiving hand of NYC and to become a true Noo Yawk-ah. While not an accurate representation of what all NYU students think, the NYU Secrets Facebook page constantly posts the thoughts of NYU students resenting the bittersweet independence of such a large, non-traditional school, but at the same time falling in love with the knowledgeable and nurturing faculty and classes.

I’m done dancing around on the outskirts of the arena — I’m ready to plop myself right into the frenzied mist of action. No walls insulate NYU from the sprawling labyrinth of NYC, which is ideal for a unique and exciting college experience . . .

另外三個(gè)學生(shēng)的回答怎麽樣？

這三篇文書要比第一(yī)篇多(duō)很多(duō)細節，更有說服力，結果也顯而易見(jiàn)是不同的，學生(shēng)1被拒（意料之中），而學生(shēng)2、學生(shēng)3、學生(shēng)4都被錄取了。我們來仔細看(kàn)一(yī)看(kàn)他們的回答，分析一(yī)下(xià)。

注意：在學生(shēng)2和學生(shēng)3同樣都是申請西(xī)北(běi)大學，雖然申請季不同，但在文中都提到(dào)了幾個(gè)一(yī)樣的東西(xī)：湖(hú)，咖啡館，舒适的氛圍。

學生(shēng)1在他的回答中講了自(zì)己的經曆，卻沒有說是什麽吸引他到(dào)那所學校。也就(jiù)是說，他沒有展示出自(zì)己對學校的興趣。

雖然說在回答中講一(yī)講學校的校園環境，位置等等并不是壞事(shì)，但是要想到(dào)每年(nián)都有成千上(shàng)萬的學生(shēng)給出同樣的回答。

雖然各大院校都極力的宣傳自(zì)己，但是你不能(néng)機(jī)械地在你的申請中重複這些内容，浪費(fèi)你申請材料的寶貴空間，尤其是你字數有限的時候。學生(shēng)2和3都提到(dào)了學校排名和聲望，但是都與自(zì)己的申請目标和計劃結合了起來。相(xiàng)比之下(xià)，學生(shēng)1的語言太蒼白(bái)無力。

Washington square park

所以在回答“為(wèi)什麽”的時候，你的答案一(yī)定要字字珠玑，字字走心。

好的Why school是重點很明确的，你寫的第一(yī)條，一(yī)定是你最看(kàn)重的點。比如一(yī)個(gè)申請人是在商業(yè)銀(yín)行工(gōng)作，職業(yè)目标是在商業(yè)銀(yín)行做general management。那他寫Why school第一(yī)條就(jiù)不應該是finance club，而是選擇這個(gè)學校是因為(wèi)這是一(yī)個(gè)很好的general management school，學校整體的項目設置是如何讓自(zì)己從(cóng)課程到(dào)leaderhsip的實踐都能(néng)很好的鍛煉的。其次才是finance行業(yè)的connection等等。這個(gè)就(jiù)是他自(zì)己的優先級。

03

如何簡明扼要回答 why school ？

就(jiù)像汀姐在上(shàng)文所說，回答這個(gè)問題一(yī)定要字字珠玑，字字走心。下(xià)面汀姐給大家支幾招：幾要幾不要。

不要做：

不要說學校的名聲或者排名。

學校的排名和名聲大家都是有目共睹的，寫這些無畏的虛名隻會(huì)浪費(fèi)申請費(fèi)。因為(wèi)太過多(duō)餘，太蒼白(bái)無力，太沒有說服力。

不要講學校的創始人。

作為(wèi)招生(shēng)官，自(zì)己學校的創校史以及出過哪些名人，想必他比你清楚得多(duō)了，所以不要花無謂的筆墨去做多(duō)餘的提醒。

要做的：

一(yī)定要搞清楚自(zì)己到(dào)底為(wèi)什麽要申請這所大學。

基于學校能(néng)給你提供什麽，有哪些是符合你的預期的，一(yī)定要想明白(bái)，你的需求到(dào)底是什麽。

一(yī)定要有主次之分。

我常常看(kàn)到(dào)一(yī)些申請人的why school上(shàng)來就(jiù)說你們有個(gè)特别好的俱樂部。或者一(yī)上(shàng)來就(jiù)會(huì)說校友(yǒu)非常好，或者你們的項目很好。就(jiù)會(huì)讓人很疑惑，難道你是沖著(zhe)一(yī)個(gè)課外俱樂部來讀(dú)這個(gè)書的麽？難道校友(yǒu)很友(yǒu)善你就(jiù)為(wèi)此花了這麽多(duō)錢(qián)和兩年(nián)的時間來到(dào)這裡(lǐ)麽？

從(cóng)理性分析開(kāi)始。

調查學校的設施、景觀、院校特長(cháng)、位置、大小(xiǎo)、課程設置等等

聽從(cóng)自(zì)己的内心。

問你自(zì)己，你所調查的學校的客觀的東西(xī)對你有怎樣的意義？你會(huì)如何利用學校的這些資源？你會(huì)給學校帶來怎樣的貢獻呢(ne)？

總結起來，學校無非是想看(kàn)你為(wèi)何合适學校，以及你能(néng)來了之後能(néng)否帶來正面影響。所以在寫這類文書之前，必須做好對學校校風和文化的充分研究，思考了解自(zì)己相(xiàng)應的特點之後，再去動筆。

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